“I am the truth you buried in your head. That you carry until the end; barely alive but nowhere near dead; I am standing here instead.” – X Ecutioners
I can’t really move. I am just starring blankly like a zombie. Smashed, broken and the soreness and pains are subtle and not so subtle reminders of how I got this way. I did another ABW 12 miler (see prior post) and also a 90 minute strength workout to hit the upper body and work on carries, the rig, walls, and all the stuff that defines Spartan racing from a “normal” ultra (is there anything normal about an ultra?)
I can tell you exactly when it happened; when I came unglued. It was half way down the mountain on day 7. I was nearing the 100 mile mark and almost 30 of those miles were straight up ski slopes and mountains and not a single step as flat and I just cracked.
But that’s how this works. You have to be like the phenix; you look awful. You turn to ash. Then as you taper you are reborn and fly.
I couldn’t feel worse today. I am ash. This is exactly where I need to be today; so that in three weeks I can do what others can’t because the last three weeks I did what others didn’t.